Day 81: Gluten Pain

Apparently this is a shirt design. And I think I need one.

The last 24 hours have been PITIFUL for food consumption. Not just cheating, but borderline sabotage of my body. I have been eating Paleo or nearly Paleo now for about 6 weeks, with an emphasis on trying to stay gluten-free. I definitely do not have a full-blown allergy to gluten, but after weeks of experimenting I can now say with certainty that similarly to the way I am lactose intolerant, I am gluten intolerant (I would also like to add that I used to be in such denial about being lactose intolerant that I convinced myself I had a cherry allergy because I would always feel sick after eating Cherry Garcia). I can sort of condition my body with both dairy and gluten, where if I’m eating it regularly I am constantly in a state of slight discomfort but nothing too major. However, if I go a long time without eating it, the reaction my body has is pretty extreme.

I’m telling you all of this so you will recognize the gravity of the situation when I say that, after 6 weeks of eating almost no gluten, yesterday for breakfast I had not 1, but 2 bagels. This week we have had a big group of business partners in from out of town, and I don’t want you to think for a second that my job is important enough to be actually dealing with business partners, but I was in charge of getting them bagels for breakfast. So every day this week I have left for work 30 minutes early and gone to pick up boxes of fresh bagels. Can you really tell me that you wouldn’t eat a few bagels if they were warm and fresh and sitting in your car? I mean really, I’m only human.

It took about 2 hours for the first bagel to really hit my gut, and ever since then I have–to spare you the gory details–been in some pretty significant gastrointestinal stress. Then last night I agreed to the brilliant idea of eating nachos, covered in jalapenos, with a side of margarita. I mean, it tasted brilliant, but did nothing to help solve my GI woes.

This morning I woke up with a distended belly, feeling totally hungover. I actually went to CrossFit and did 4 rounds of 500 m row, 400 m run, max DU’s in a total of 6 minutes (the time you had left after the row and run you used to do as many DU’s as possible), and let me tell you that there was definitely a moment when I thought I was going to poop on the rowing machine. (I didn’t. In fact I didn’t even fart on it. But that was a MIRACLE, I tell you.)

Anyway, this whole ordeal has made me recognize that maybe one of the most significant changes I’ve encountered since starting CrossFit has had to do with my diet. My thoughts about what a person’s diet should look like are extensive and I’m not about to start talking about them now (almost 500 words into a post! yikes!), but I will say that 3 months ago, I would not have thought twice about grabbing a bagel for breakfast or eating a sandwich or big bowl of pasta for dinner. And I have been more than skeptical about this whole gluten-free movement, viewing it as a fad that allows people to basically justify being super picky. But today, I think it’s safe to say that I am a gluten-free convert. Well, except for beer. The beer stays.


6 thoughts on “Day 81: Gluten Pain

  1. I commend you on the six weeks of Paleo!!

    I used to eat pasta at least three times a week, and chips and salsa just as often. I’ve successfully passed on both for about a month now, and it does make a difference! I have stuck to no grains during the week (well, Friday night starts my downfall, usually containing a basket of bread), and I can tell such a difference in the belly! I’m fairly skinny, but still have that gut.. but cutting out those evil grains (which I absolutely LOVE) has made the belly look a bit flatter.. It’s really hard to see results and know it’s coming from taking away foods that you love. But for the summer, I think I may have to stick to the no grains (at least during the week) so that bathing suit works to its full advantage!) 🙂

    • Oh man, chips and salsa are my Kryptonite. Luckily tortilla chips are gluten-free (not even close to being Paleo but I’ll take it)… And isn’t it amazing (and gross) when you realize that half of what you thought was belly fat is just perpetual belly air?

      • OMG. yes! I could not believe the difference in my belly when I went off grains (or the belly-trauma that ensues if something mysteriously works its way in there). I’m not so sure it’s all belly air though, I think quite a bit of it is also dietary waste products that get stuck in there because the body doesn’t know what to do with them! Still gross!

        There is no cake or pizza or cookies that is worth that!

        And yes, beer stays. Beer doesn’t hurt so beer gets to stay….and beware the person who tries to “save me” from it! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Ayurveda Cure For Gluten Allergy | Histamine Intolerance

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