Day 32: Responsibility

Yesterday was painful. Literally full of pain. After running backwards for 1/4 mile on Monday night during our warm-up, my calves were pretty sore on Tuesday but it seemed innocuous enough that I decided to go for a 3-mile run on Tuesday night (my logic went something like: It will loosen them up! Just what they need!). First of all, this was the first run I’d really done since starting CrossFit (remember when I mentioned that I am supposed to be training for a marathon? No, you don’t remember that? Apparently I haven’t though much about it either…), and it did NOT feel good. I did not feel strong, and it didn’t help that I was running (as I always do) with my long-legged, distance-running boyfriend and our friend who is currently about 3/4 of the way through a marathon training plan. Really set myself up for success there. And did I stretch after this 3-mile worst-idea-of-my-life run? No, sir. I drank beer and ate pasta and chocolate bread pudding. Yes I did.

Yesterday when I woke up, my calves felt like they were full of hot lead. When I tried to get out of bed, I literally fell over backwards. I then spent the entire day doing an hilarious but painful Quasimodo hobble-shuffle around the office, wincing every time I crossed my legs and the top of my calf grazed my other knee. I called my twin brother, an amateur but very experienced bodybuilder, to ask him what I could do to bring my calves back to normal without having to skip my WOD (which included no less than 350 double-unders, YEAH RIGHT). He literally laughed at me. “Do NOT work out tonight,” he told me on no uncertain terms. “Give your body a rest. What are you thinking?”

Let me tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking, “I am on a program, here, buddy! I can’t just go around skipping WODs left and right! I only did 2 last week, and I am supposed to be getting better at this!” So I got off the bus a block away from my gym (I just can’t get used to calling it a Box, I’m sorry) and waddled up the street.

I knew that I could not do 350 double-unders. I actually can’t even do ONE double-under, but last night the thought of merely jumping rope made me nauseous. When I walked in, I asked Cheez if we could replace the double-unders with something else. His first suggestion was tuck-jumps. I rephrased. “No, what I’m trying to get at is that it would be a suicide mission for me to do anything explosive with my legs.”

But, thankfully, this is what CrossFit is all about: modifying and adapting. Eventually we decided that I would do 30 air squats instead of 50 double-unders in each of our 7 sets that also included 5 handstand push-ups and 3 deadlifts at 80% max weight. And I didn’t die. It hurt a little (doesn’t it always), but today I am not immobile and in fact feel pretty good. But I did learn a lot this week about being a responsible owner of my body. It was a little embarrassing to walk in last night and have to ask for a modification, basically saying, “I am too weak tonight to do what I am supposed to do.” But there is a fine line between pushing yourself and hurting yourself, and this week I have been walking on that line as if it were extended across a canyon.

Day 30: 15 Truths for Crossfit Beginners

I drank the Koolaid… It tasted like Progenex.

With my first month of Crossfit under my belt (boo-ya!), I think it’s time to pass on some wisdom.

1. The concept of getting in shape before you start Crossfit is absurd. I keep hearing, “I want to try Crossfit, I just need to get in shape first!” Crossfit is going to kick your butt no matter what, so stop making excuses and just get in there.

2. Puking is apparently not a sign of weakness, but a sign of being a badass. Bleeding is also encouraged. (Bonus points if you puke blood?)

3. You are not allowed to eat anything that was not available to our Paleolithic ancestors – luckily, they apparently had unlimited access to expensive whey protein powder.

4. The drive to the gym will become the most nerve-wracking part of your day.

5. You are going to be sore for the rest of your life. “It will get easier as you get stronger” doesn’t apply when the workouts can be scaled to push you to muscle failure every time, even if you are a Viking.

6. You are only competing against yourself. Nobody else cares if you finish last or if you have the lightest bar, they just want to see you do your best. Even your trainers are having a hard time finishing the WOD, so don’t feel bad.

7. As per #6, you will get called out if you are not doing your best. No corner cutting or “losing count” allowed.

8. If you request Britney Spears to be played at the beginning of a WOD, no one will ever ask you for your music preference again.

9. Talking non-stop about Crossfit will instantly become almost irresistibly appealing, but it is generally discouraged if you want to keep your non-Crossfit friends.

10. Crossfit is expensive – but you will find ways to afford $150/month membership fees while still eating organic vegetables and grass-fed beef by cutting out all other social activities in your life. Priorities, people. So maybe #9 isn’t so important.

11. Cheat meals are going to become a really, really big deal. The nachos you are only allowed to eat once a month will become a borderline religious experience.

12. You will start reading Crossfit and Paleo blogs. A lot. You might even start one.

13. Forget what you thought you knew about what you can and can’t do. All of those things are going to be redefined, and then redefined again the next time.

14. Barefoot-style shoes and compression tights will suddenly start to find their way into your daily rotation. You will begin to rationalize why a sports bra is totally part of a business casual wardrobe.

15. The concept of working out in any other capacity will become almost comical, so you might as well cancel your Pilates membership now.

Day 29: The Real World vs Real Life

So, remember how I said that I was excited to get into Crossfit because I am excited for the benefits of increased strength and endurance when it comes to the outdoor activities that I love? Well, rowing a big inflatable boat this weekend (and grunting and sweating while doing it) really made that even more tangible for me, and I am super excited to get back in the box (apparently that is what you call your Crossfit gym if you want to sound like you know what you’re talking about) tonight!

This weekend was amazing, people. Amazing. Mid-80s, sunny, no wind (which is unheard of), and just as full of turkey sandwiches, pasta, beer, and cheese as I had hoped it would be. Getting out there was huge – I miss the river so much, and I especially miss the people who I go on the river with. Having just moved to the city after a few years living the seasonal life as raft guides and ski bums, the BF and I talk a lot about the difference between Real Life and The Real World. The Real World is where people have jobs and worry about how much those jobs pay and let other people define them based on those job titles, where you plan meetings and schedule lunch dates and set alarm clocks. In many ways, it seems that if you exist outside of The Real World, your life choices are somehow less legitimate and important. People don’t care how happy or unhappy you are, they just care about your titles and the people you know and the companies you’ve worked for. But, Real Life is what happens when you stop worrying about The Real World and start living from the heart. Real Life is the life we get out on the river, where it doesn’t matter what time it is, or how fast you are moving, or how far you have left to go. What matters is sharing moments and pushing limits and paying attention to what’s going on around you. In some ways I think that the biggest difference between The Real World and Real Life is that last component. In The Real World, our focus can be so internal and so specific that we fail to notice the big picture, and the amazing things that happen around us all the time are totally ignored. But on the river, in the mountains, on a bike, or a pair of skis, or even just on a porch in the sun with your family, Real Life can show up and suddenly you realize that you are part of something much bigger and much more important than you can fathom. It’s hard to have those moments when your day is scheduled in 15-minute increments.

How does this relate to Crossfit, to fitness in general, to setting a goal and going for it? I think that pursuing a healthy lifestyle is one of the cornerstones of Real Life – by recognizing that your body is the most important and precious tool you have, that in reality you actually have nothing if you don’t have your health, you take a step away from The Real World, and start making time for yourself. Especially in Crossfit, I feel like I have opened the door to a whole new set of eye-opening experiences. Pushing your limits is definitely part of Real Life.

Tonight’s WOD is apparently called “Hammer.” I don’t imagine I will do the prescribed weight, but this is what we are looking at.

5 rounds timed separately:

135# power clean, 5 reps

135# front squat, 10 reps

135# jerk, 5 reps

20 pullups

Rest 90 seconds

So much for my back being back to normal after 2 days of hobbling around like an old woman last week. Also I can’t promise that my post tomorrow won’t involve an MC Hammer song. In fact, it might be a requirement.

Adventure Inspiration for the Weekend

Two posts in one day?! I might be breaking some blog rules here, but since I am going to be gone all weekend on an adventure, I wanted to post a little more adventure fitspo to get everyone excited to get out and do some fun things this weekend, too!

Rafting in the Grand Canyon. Definitely on the bucket list.

Ski season is pretty much over, but doesn't this photo really make you wish it wasn't...

Not adventurous per se, but inspirational nonetheless. Hey, maybe your weekend adventure involves a bunch of medicine ball cleans...

Have a great weekend!

Day 25: Progress Photos!

Serious back pain today. Like, borderline injured pain. Found out my deadlift max is 145lbs, though. I think those two things (back pain and dead lift maxes) go pretty hand-in-hand. The BF can deadlift 235. I mean really.

We are heading out on the river this weekend, so no Crossfit for us until next Monday. In fact this weekend will most likely consist of almost nothing Paleo, with probably a good amount of rowing but otherwise just a lot of hanging out at camp and horseshoes-playing to be done. River trips are the best.

But I decided that before I go out this weekend and drink beer and eat bagels and put melted cheese on everything and reverse all my progress, it’s time to post some new photos!

I definitely think that the Boyfriend has made more noticeable progress, especially in his shoulders, but he already started out with very little body fat and a good amount of upper body muscle (isn’t he dreamy…) I guess I’m not too bummed that I haven’t gained much muscle, because overall “muscley” is not really an adjective I’m going for. But my side photo definitely proves that some major toning is going on! Also, I have lost a grand total of 3.5 pounds in the past 3 weeks, so I’m now at 128 lbs… not a ton, but I am keeping in mind that I am definitely building muscle, so watching my weight is not going to be a very good indicator of progress through this process.

To be honest, if anything I think I look like I've gained weight in this one... Oh well.

Day 23: Limits

Just for your entertainment, I would suggest listening to this while reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhsTmiK7Q2M

If there is one absolute statement I can make about Crossfit, it is that it pushes you to your limits.

It has been an interesting experience to learn what that feels like. I have definitely had experiences before that have pushed me, but I am, for the first time, experiencing the feeling of pushing my own limits. Does that make sense?

Last night our workout was an 800m (1/2 mile) run, followed by 8 sets of 8 kettlebell swings and 8 burpee-pullups (or, since I can’t do a pull-up, I was doing knees-to-elbows while dangling from the bar… by the end of the workout it just looked a lot like a burpee-dangle) and then capped off with another 800 m run. This was after a 400m run, some stretching, and 40 push-ups, sit-ups, and squats for the warm-up.

About 2/3 of the way through my 8 sets of kettlebell swings and burpee-dangles, I found myself face-down on the floor, gasping for air mid-burpee, with a massive Viking (everyone literally calls him Thor. I’m not sure that’s his real name, but I wouldn’t be surprised) to my right, sputtering through his own burpees 2 sets ahead of me. The Boyfriend was shirtless a few feet in front of me (this would have probably been distracting if I hadn’t been in so much anguish), miraculously pacing Thor, red-faced and trying to find a sweaty grip on the pull-up bar.

Lying in a growing puddle of my own sweat (and probably just a little bit of Thor’s, too), wondering how I am ever going to get up again let alone get up and do it 15 more times, is about the time where I would traditionally decide to quit. Thinking: Not worth it, who’s idea was this, I am not this type of person who needs to workout so hard that I am brought to the point of near-tears and sudden intense self-examination mid-workout. Who does this to themselves.

Last night was not the first time I felt pushed to my limits by Crossfit. And I don’t think it’s the first time in my 3 short weeks of this sport that I have plowed through those limits only to keep lifting and running while working so hard I can’t tell if I’m crying or just sweating out of my eyeballs. But it was the first time where I really stopped and thought to myself, THIS is my limit. I am at my limit. I do not want to get up, and I do not HAVE to get up. But I got back up anyway. This happened again in the next set, where I reached a place where I thought, there is no way I can do this anymore. And yet, I finished the entire WOD, and I didn’t even finish last. This is what I mean by pushing my own limits. Consciously challenging myself to reconsider what my limits actually are, and finding that I have a lot more in me than I expected.

Limits are a funny thing. How often in the past have I come up to a challenge and thought, Nope, can’t do it, and then just walked away? How did I know that I couldn’t do it? I think the quote at the top of this post is a pretty good way of putting it. I might also add, “And then keep going past them.”

Day 22: Feeling Rested

One of my favorite quotes, especially for a Monday.

Hello, Monday.

Today I am feeling pretty good, almost totally void of muscle aches for the first time in 3 weeks. And you know what? I kind of miss them!

The BF and I are planning on getting back on the wagon full-force tonight, although due to technical problems with our gym’s website may end up having to wait until tomorrow morning if we can’t get signed up for tonight’s WOD before it fills up. I am not exactly thrilled about the idea of having to wake up at 5:30AM to scarf down a banana and go ruin myself before the day even starts – not to mention what that would mean about how I would look/smell at work the rest of the day since there wouldn’t really be time to go home and shower in-between. So, let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

It’s kind of crazy that I actually missed Crossfit these past few days. My muscles are proud of me for taking it easy, but I have a serious itch to get back in the gym tonight. I definitely did not feel this way after a weekend of taking it easy from a running routine, or after a few days off from Jillian Michaels. The words “can’t wait” have even crossed my mind. I am actually EXCITED to get out there and destroy myself. What?

Be still my red rock loving heart. My view for this upcoming weekend.

I am also super excited because this coming weekend the BF and I are heading to Utah to spend 3 days on the good ol’ Colorado River with friends from the past 2 summers (which we spent living in Moab). The section we are doing is all flatwater (no rapids), but I am so excited to get back out and spend some much-needed river time with some of my favorite people. The rafting company I used to work for is called Splore, and they do trips for people of all abilities, which means that I spent a summer and a half meeting some very incredible people who had been through some very serious shit. From at-risk youth living in residential treatment centers, to Vietnam vets, to adults with traumatic injuries, autism, or progressive diseases, the people I met and had the privilege to take down the river are another constant source of inspiration for me to push myself physically and appreciate everything that I am able to do.

When you meet someone who goes through more in a single day than you have been through in your entire life – when every small task is a major endeavor yet they don’t shy away from adventures like camping and rafting, which are scary even to people who don’t have disabilities – it really changes your perspective on what’s important and what it means to live a full life (if you are interested in reading more about my experiences on the river, you can check out some posts on my other blog here and here). This upcoming weekend will just be a trip with past and future guides from Splore, but it will be great to be back in that community, even if just for a few short days.

Between my rested muscles, my rafting trip coming up, and all of my past rafting experiences on my mind, hopefully that will give me some extra fuel to really push myself tonight.

PS, I have really been loving all of the comments I’ve been getting from everyone of encouragement and sharing your own stories of killing it and/or falling on your face during Crossfit 🙂 Keep ’em coming! Today, let me know what secret fuel you have to inspire you through the last few minutes of your WOD?

Day 21: Adventure Inspiration

I can’t believe it’s already been 3 weeks since I started this blog! Taking the weekend off from Crossfit, let me tell you, has been so great. Yesterday morning I got a haircut, then took a nap and was lazy all day. The BF and I went on a fancy date last night – he even wore a suit! – and then were in bed by 9:30, reading The Hobbit out loud. My life is pretty exciting, guys. Today has been equally relaxing, though plans for a nice run have been foiled by a headache that will NOT go away. So I might just take a nap. Again.

With the few fitspo posts that I’ve done, I started noticing that the people I post are not exactly the kind of inspiration I’m always looking for. They are incredible fit and obviously motivated, but I am not in this to make it to the Crossfit Games or to compete as a fitness model. I am in this because I want to push myself to the next level as an athlete but ultimately as an adventurer. I want to use Crossfit to push my hiking, trail running, climbing, and skiing to the next level.

So, here is some Adventure Inspiration. I had so much fun finding these photos that I can tell you this will not be the last of posts like this.

(As always, these images are not mine, but are mostly from Pinterest, Tumblr, and various Google searches. If any of these images belong to you and you would like them removed, please contact me and I will be happy to oblige ASAP).

Day 20: Food Journal

Still trying out this Paleo thing. Not quite committed 100%, but I will definitely say that my grain intake has very dramatically decreased, and I haven’t added shredded cheese on top of anything in weeks. Also, I haven’t had mac & cheese in about 10 days, which might be a new personal record for me. I haven’t noticed a big change in my energy or any change in my weight yet, but my system does feel a little more balanced. Frankly right now it’s hard to make any blanket statements about my health and wellness because I am suffering so much from allergies these past few weeks that I could be sprinkled with pixie dust and still not notice a difference from behind my scratchy eyes and runny nose. I think that if I was a super hero, my arch nemesis would be called The Pollinator. And I would be Captain Mucous Membrane. And I would be losing.

Wednesday

Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with salt

Lunch: About 1/3 of a salad with spring mix, sundried tomatoes, pears, and goat cheese. I ordered this at the salad place near my office, thinking, “Ooh, sundried tomatoes, I never get those!” and was all excited until I took a bite and remembered that I never get them because I can’t stand them.

Pre-workout Snack: A few handfuls of cashews

Post-workout Snack: Protein shake with chocolate whey powder, a banana, some peanut butter, and almond milk.

Dinner: Sriracha roasted chicken. The marinade is made with plain yogurt (I used Greek yogurt, not Paleo but at least high in protein), sriracha, rosemary, lemon, and garlic. SO good. No side dishes, I was pretty full from my protein shake still.

Thursday

Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with salt

Lunch: Leftover chicken with leftover sour & sweet veggies from Tuesday night’s Thai takeout. Notice I started this food journal on Wednesday… it’s because Tuesday was an atrocious (but delicious!) showing of Thai takeout and fried fish tacos.

Dinner: 2 small piece of woodfire margherita pizza and 1 beer. So good.

Friday

Breakfast: 1 scrambled egg with salt, kale smoothie with frozen strawberries and pineapple juice

Lunch: Lamb burger (sans bun) with some kind of delicious tomato-garlic aolio stuff, and sweet potato fries

Snack: A handful of pita chips

Dinner: 1/2 grilled chicken breast, some delicious green-beans-in-tomat0-sauce thing that my friend’s Mom made (you may recall that we went to send-off for my friend who is walking across Rwanda), 3 bite-size brownies

Saturday (so far)

Breakfast: Egg scramble with sweet potatoes, kale, and red pepper

Snack: Kale smoothie with frozen strawberries and pineapple juice

Day 18: Coming Up for Air

Today’s aches and pains: Legs and butt, from 75 box jumps last night. Back and shoulders, from 5 reps of squat cleans at max weight from Monday and 25 more squat cleans and 50 ball cleans last night. Abs, which still feel like they are tearing dozens of times a day when I sneeze (Bah! Allergies!), from what I estimate to have been about 80 sit-ups on Monday night. I will say, though, that last night I did NOT finish last, but squarely in the middle with most of the other folks in the class (the Boyfriend finished first by a pretty wide margin… typical), and even though I came THIS close to vomiting at the end of the 800m run that rounded out our WOD, I held it together (not for lack of trying… I actually walked around the corner after the run was over to throw up only to find a bunch of kids who I did not feel like scarring for life, so I managed to keep it in).

We have been working out on a pretty consistent every-other-day basis, and on this schedule I feel that my body is not so much recovering between WODs but more like coming up for air. Like in the beginning of Jaws, when the girl gets pulled under water and pops back up a few seconds later, hyperventilates a little bit, then is dragged back under the water… that’s sort of how my back muscles have felt. In a classic show of good timing, my best friend (who is preparing to walk across Rwanda while creating a photojournalism piece about the future of the Rwandan people, which you can read more about here) is having a going away party on Friday night, squarely conflicting with our Friday night WOD. Since it’s not every day that someone leaves to walk across one of the more dangerous countries in the world, we are taking Friday off, to send her off on her journey and also to give our muscles a chance to breathe just a little.

With a solid 2.5 weeks of Crossfit under my belt at this point, I have to say that I am loving it. It is definitely hard, and like I mentioned in my post a few days ago, it has been harder in some ways than in others, and not necessarily in the ways I was expecting. I feel like most worthwhile challenges that a person undertakes are characterized by their lack of predictability, though. If you can anticipate and feel prepared for each development, each twist and turn, well then maybe you aren’t really challenging yourself like you should be. I’ve definitely found that the most rewarding and valuable experiences I’ve had have surprised me, thrown me on my ass, and even made me cry a few times. And let’s be honest, it’s only a matter of time before a WOD makes me cry.